The Juan-And-Only Award Winners – 2011 Edition!

As our night comes to a close, we express our apologies to those of you who aren’t reading this. Your lives must be miserable if you couldn’t even make it to the last page of an online award show that takes about twenty minutes at the most to get through if you actually watch some of the trailers and commercials. Anyway, thanks to everyone who has survived this fun night. It’s been an arduous process writing this entire show and collecting the votes from my own personal academy. I thank them more than anyone else because without their insight, I would have just had a ton of nominees and twenty-way ties. So, to close the night, here are the final awards.

Best Original Screenplay

Coming up with and writing an original screenplay is a bitch and a half, so the fact that the nominees for this category were able to create some pretty fantastic tales and bring them to the big screen is impressive. Whether it’s comedy or drama, these writers really brought some great stories to the table this year. The winner, who has been writing his own original films for decades, managed to bring a spark of life back into his declining career through the magic of Paris in the 1920s. Our voters have claimed that Woody Allen‘s screenplay for Midnight in Paris is the best original screenplay of the year and it’s easy to see why.

The runner-up is Mike Mills’ original screenplay for Beginners.


Best Adapted Screenplay

Adaptations are no easy feat in writing either. You’ll either get criticized for taking too many liberties with including new scenes or get bitched at for not including some key scenes or making it too lengthy. Regardless, the six nominees for the category did what I believe was an excellent job at adapting plays and novels to film. Of course, two novels this year stood above the rest and we have our second TIE of the night. Lenny Ramsay’s adaptation of We Need to Talk About Kevin and Hossein Amini’s adaptation of Drive are what the academy chose to represent the best adapted screenplays of the year. Both are pretty intense movies that not only provide great writing, but some top tier acting and directing as well. Both were also snubbed painfully at the Academy Awards for literally everything (except sound mixing), but we think we’ve celebrated them plenty.

The runner-up is Steven Zaillian’s adaptation of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.


Best Director

Wow! Look at all the great directors in this category. It’s definitely an interesting mix and it’s hard to decide on who the best man was this year. Three men with directorial filmographies dating back decades like Allen, Malick, and Scorsese, as well as three men with fairly shorter lifespans in the film business like Hazanavicius, McQueen, and Refn. Only one will triumph this year and the man to reach the finish line first this year is none other than Nicolas Winding Refn for his spectacular film, Drive.

The runner-up was Terrence Malick for The Tree of Life.


Best Picture

Here’s the one thing that everyone actually cares about. The most important award of the night. Nobody cares about anything but this (that’s not true, but sometimes it feels like it). Ten nominees, but only one winner. I won’t build it up any longer. After being nominated for SEVEN awards tonight, one movie stands above the rest this year. Many have loved it and plenty have hated it, but one thing is certain: it’s definitely the sort of film that stands out and appeals to everyone, from film buffs to just passing moviegoers. With a cast featuring Oscar-deserving performances from Ryan Gosling, Carey Mulligan, and Albert Brooks, Oscar-deserving direction from Nicolas Winding Refn, an adapted screenplay better than most I’ve read this year, and some of the most memorable uses of music in years, Drive is the winner of this years Juan-And-Only Award for Best Picture.

The runner-up was Terrence Malick’s The Tree of Life.

∞ ∞ ∞

Thanks for tuning in and hopefully next year, I’ll have an even better award show prepared for everyone. With any luck, there will be plenty of variety and my academy will grow larger. Feel free to let me know who your favorite winners are and if you think we messed up on any awards. If you’re mad, too bad. Every award show has some things people don’t like, but that’s life. Have a great evening/morning/afternoon/existence! That’s all folks!

Juan Barquin

Just yer average twenty-something college student with no time on his hands who ends up watching (and writing) too many movies and shows for his own good.

8 Responses

  1. Albert Brooks is in a corner crying.

    • Rodrigo says:

      @cinema-fanatic, He’ll tweet about getting shafted in the awards. Not even 2nd place. Brooks was great in Drive.

    • Juan Barquin says:

      @cinema-fanatic, I still feel terrible for not including him in the nominees, but by the time I posted them it was too late :(

      He probably would have gotten second place though. Plummer honestly won by a landslide.

  2. amy says:

    I can’t believe Submarine won over MMMM. And I really can’t believe Tintin won the animation category xD But… otherwise, I think it’s hard to criticize when you haven’t really snub much (except for Chico & Rita LOL).

    • Juan Barquin says:

      @amy, I’m actually really pleasantly surprised about the debut actually! I personally liked both of those better than MMMM and the voters did as well. And I know you’re not pleased with my snubbing Chico & Rita, but I hadn’t seen it back then!

      • amy says:

        @Juan Barquin, that’s why you watch EVERYTHING before nominations hahaha

        About Submarine… it’s not like I liked many of the debuts, but from all that were nominated, I liked MMMM a little bit better.

  3. Julyssa says:

    Oh Juan, you so funny la!
    This made my morning! So entertaining. Also:

    FUCK YES FASSY WON!!!! In your face Oscars!

  4. Thomas says:

    What?! No Real Steel nominations?! Also, Cars 2 should’ve won best animation!

    I’m kidding of course. Great read! I actually was satisfied with an awards show for once. (Even if Rango was beat out by Tin Tin. :D) Anyway, I’ll finally get to see Shame tonight and based on all of your praise for it I’m 99% sure it’ll be fantastic!

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