The Future President: Interview with Coley


Speaking of presidents, it’s a shame you didn’t run. From what I’ve seen from your tweets, I think your platform is strong enough to have a shot in four years (I would vote for you, anyway). If you could put anything into legislation, what would it be?

Thanks! Heyyyy errrrrbody – if you believe in my positions, help me get rich via music so I can run for real 15-30 years from now. By then, campaigns are gonna cost like $10 billion, so I’ma needa start planning now.

  • Clean Energy Independence: The goal should be for the US to create 100% of its own energy here in the US as soon as possible while taking climate change into consideration. I would increase all forms of energy production in the US (green energy, oil, natural gas, clean coal, nuclear) in the short-term to make the country energy independent as soon as possible as that is the most important short-term priority for our economy and security. At the same time, I would put into effect initiatives that increase green energy production and energy efficiency standards (auto fuel efficiency standards, energy conservation in homes etc.) overtime so that our energy production moves more towards self-sustaining clean, green energy. Climate change is real and if you don’t believe it, you’re an idiot


  • Nation Building At Home: I would do this by making military spending more efficient so that more money can be invested in building the United States economy here at home for an Innovation Revolution over the next century.
  • Efficient Military Spending: I would avoid war at all costs (while keeping all options on the table for any mofos talkin’ smack) and upgrade the military to be more efficient/strategic/tactical for today’s more complicated security issues. Our military spending is more than the next 20-something countries combined. Where we need to spend more militarily is on care for our veterans. There is a portion of the veteran population dealing with unemployment and mental health issues, and it’s not right. I believe no troop should be without a job and the medical care they require post-service. They gave their life to the country and the country should look out for them unconditionally after.
  • Strategic Investment in the United States
  • More Investment in Education: Our biggest asset is the country’s collective brain power. All children should have access to a high quality K-12 education and college needs to remain affordable. We should be adding some new subjects to the K-12 curriculum. There should be more classes on personal finance, relationship management 101, healthy nutrition habits, entrepreneurship, technology….
  • Growing Small Businesses: The government should promote policies that encourage the growth of small businesses via tax incentives to hire new employees and invest in new equipment.
  • Innovative Investment in Infrastructure and Research & Development: During recessions and periods of slow economic growth, we need to invest in infrastructure to stimulate the economy, but “stimulus” has become a curse word because everyone is more concerned about our national debt. The fastest/best way to improve our debt is through economic growth, not more taxes or less spending, which seems to dominate the debate. We can create jobs for the unemployed in the short-term while the economy is hurting and improve our infrastructure by investing in areas that will make our economy more innovative in the future. Just like a company does, you need to invest in these things to speed up the future economy. Invest in things like a smarter, 21st century electrical grid, high speed rail, better airports/highways, education, clean energy, research & development… no government or huge government are both the wrong answer.

More on his platform on the next page…


As unexpected as my path was to loving all things weird, more unexpected is my ability to get attention for writing about the stuff.

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