Tres Metros Sobre el Cielo

3-metros-sobre-el-cielo-poster

English Title: Three Steps Above Heaven
Alternate Titles: 3MSC
Release date: December 3, 2010
Director: Fernando González Molina
Novel by: Federico Moccia
Screenplay by: Ramón Salazar
Cast: Mario Casas, Maria Valverde, Marina Salas, Alvaro Cervantes

Nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay at the 2011 Goya Awards, I really couldn’t have figured that a movie nominated to the prestigious award could suck so bad. But I was stuck on a bus for more than four hours, and I had no other remedy than to sit and watch.

Once I realized that Tres Metros Sobre el Cielo was an adaptation of a popular Italian two-parter young adult novel released in the 90s, followed up by Tengo Ganas de Ti, everything that I felt was wrong with the story made sense- Teenagers over 13 years old aren’t (and shouldn’t) be the target audience for this. I wasn’t the intended audience, and I cringed at the thought of it EVER finding an audience. Yes, just like Twilight had become a pop culture staple for all the wrong reasons, Tres Metros Sobre el Cielo became a box office success getting nearly 10M Euro back on its day, securing the production of the second movie that was released not long ago, and topping it all with this mind-boggling Goya nomination. What are you doing, Spain? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? You could have maybe honored the movie visually, but of all the aspects you could have highlighted, you guys decide to give it a nod for Screenplay?

Tres Metros Sobre el Cielo follows a Marty Stu [1] simply known as H. (Casas), a hot-tempered, moody bad boy with a really hot body. Cocky to no end, he definitely smells like trouble from the first close-up in contrast to the uptight Babi (Valverde), whom we meet in a gracious sequence of her getting her school uniform on (because the Spanish can do it). Their first casual encounter is rough as Babi is being drove to school and H. is riding his bike, when he calls out to her “Ugly!” (The English subtitles called her a “Duckface” instead), and romance blooms as the script requires Babi to encountered H. a few times over so that we can see how this “bad boy” just needs a little bit of fixing.

Of course, the first few minutes shows us a Babi that at least tries to show some dignity, unlike her bimbo of a sister (Nerea Camacho) and more annoying best friend forever, Katina (Salas). However, it’s inevitable. We know from the get-go it’s over for Babi and that she’s going to fall for H’s attributes. We were just hoping for H to have some redeeming qualities. Sadly, by the end of the near 2hr. movie, there’s no contrition, little consequences to H’s behavior other than that half-ass death by the end of the film, that I guess helps Babi get away from the hot mess that would have been their relationship. The emotional connection is never there, because you are so annoyed by H’s brooding aggressive attitude that you keep exclaiming “Oh, my god” each time a character is destroyed to move his character forward. The biggest one is the tearing down of the school teacher who is bullied into preferential treatment of Babi by H’s kidnapping of her dog, Pepito. If she had remained the hard-ass that she was at the beginning of the story, she would’ve called the cops on H and his good for nothing pal, Pollo (Cervantes).

Besides being a horrible example for both girls (who are pushed to fall in love with broody problematic young men) and boys (who are pushed to become broody problematic young men because it’s cool), I felt Tres Metros Sobre el Cielo was filled with other terrible characters, from the cliche overbearing manipulative mother (Cristina Plazas) who seems to be the source of all of Babi’s issues, H’s cheating “whore” of a mother — on the women’s side — as well as easily taken advantage Alex (Diego Martin), H’s brother, and the authority lacking father of Babi (Jordi Bosch) on the men’s side.

For all its story and character lacking, Tres Metros Sobre el Cielo is glossy. It’s got a schmaltzy soundtrack of mixed Spanish and English music that is over-bearing, but this is as Hollywood as Spain has ever done- co-production notwithstanding. The acting is passable, with some highlights from Valverde, who does her best with the material she’s been given. Then again, the biggest problem on 3MSC isn’t its production, it’s the source material.

Rating: ★¼☆☆☆ 

amy

YAM Magazine editor, photographer, blogger, translator and part-time web designer. Film junkie, music junkie… and lately series (a.k.a. TV) junkie.

11 Responses

  1. mirella says:

    LOL that movie. There was a time it was freaking popular here. I mean not news-worthy popular, but every tacky person I knew was raving about it real life and online. I tried to watch it but it was so badfic I couldn’t finish XD

    • Rodrigo says:

      @mirella, I only knew this film existed once the sequel was soon to premiere on the theaters. Speaking of Twilight (since it gets compared to 3MSC), I would have never known about Twilight’s existence (until the first film aired, obviously) if it wasn’t for Amy showing me an article about Breaking Dawn (the book) because it was compared to Angel, lol. She just accelerated my knowing of that franchise by a year or two (?), I guess.

      • amy says:

        @Rodrigo, I can’t even remember that article O_O was it the one making fun of Breaking Dawn ending? Should I sit through all of them? It almost seems like torture.

    • amy says:

      @mirella, I really TRIED to look away, but we were sitting on the first row right in front of the screen and the volume was pretty loud. I ended up watching Vamps and Jack and Jill O_O and this one bugged me even more than Jack and Jill and to learn that it was so successful made me even more mad!

      My friend and I kept OMGing “she’s gonna do it.” “OMG, she did it.” “OMG, young people suck.” “OMG, this is so stupid.”

      • Rodrigo says:

        @amy, LOL @ Jack and Jill. Ok, I saw it too, but it isn’t the worst 201 film I’ve seen (Breaking Dawn P1 and Bucky Larson tops J&J).

        You hated Vamps? It’s kinda frustrating, but still more watchable than Rock of Ages and Red Tails.

        • amy says:

          @Rodrigo, I did laugh at Jack and Jill and Vamps, but those were dubbed, I think I may have liked J&J that way more. I found RoA bland more than annoying (I liked Zeta’s introduction number). I haven’t watched Red Tails yet. I had completely different reactions to J&J though, even though both my friend and I groaned that we had to watch it, we ended up laughing.

  2. Rodrigo says:

    I was expecting one of the worst films of the decade based on the star rating alone and the review. I’ve seen worse, lol. But this is somehow less torturous to watch than SATC2, the fourth Twilight film, some other shits.. and this one includes H being a ultra-despicable motherfucker. I kinda liked Valverde, even if Babi (whom is more watchable than Bella from Twilight) deserved to get punched in the nose for being too fucking stupid.

    • amy says:

      But come on~ based on the IMDb rating of +7, it’s tricky. SatC2 has less than 5 and the Twilight BD 1+2 never reach a 6 rating. It’s a gross movie, and it’s got a Goya nomination!

      • Rodrigo says:

        I was a bit surprised with how violent H could be at times, and worst of all get away with a lot of shit. Funniest part of the film for me was when he slapped Babi since it was the one time he was sorta justified in hitting someone.

        Norbit has an Oscar nom, lol.

  1. October 11, 2014

    […] but I ended up revisiting the film yesterday — and I really needed to wash the bad sight of 3MSC anyhow (as horrid as it is to admit watching that recently) — and Freaky Friday is still fun […]

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